Reflections of a holiday void

Yesterday was St. Valentine's Day, as I'm sure you all know. Getting into the spirit of the holiday, I decided to create my lesson plans for this week revolving around topics of love. We would first start out talking about how the holiday differs in France from the United States and how they normally celebrate it here. We then would get into debates such as "should exes remain friends?" and "Is marriage outdated?". The following are some reflections:

1. St. Valentine's Day norms.
My high school students were very quick to point out that one of the biggest differences between V-Day in France and V-Day in the U.S. is that here, the holiday is a holiday designed specifically for couples. Unlike Americans, they don't share cards or candy between friends and their mothers certainly didn't make them heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast when they were in elementary school (high school too- isn't my mom the best?). Girls don't wear red or pink to school. Boys don't decorate lockers for their girlfriend (but ok I admit lockers don't exist here) or present flowers during class. The biggest outpouring of love I saw yesterday was a computer print-out of a heart with "Maeva J" written inside and taped to the stairwell wall. Not to mention that all of the Facebook status I saw pertaining to V-Day came from friends and family back home. What is typical for St. Valentine's Day here is that couples give gifts to each other and perhaps go out to dinner. High school sweethearts give gifts of flowers, chocolate, and jewelry. High school boys might even receive a bracelet back from their girlfriends (American boys would never be caught dead in a bracelet). Tshirts are NOT considered good gifts. The boys will ALWAYS pay for the date. But it's ok if the girls decide to pursue the boy they like, instead of the other way around. Marriage is still a very fundamental step of life here, even if divorces are on the rise and co-habitation is becoming more acceptable.

2. Holidays in general.
This leads me to my next point: holidays in general here aren't felt as fully as in the States. One might say that Americans are feeding into a consumer society and feel the need to buybuybuy in order to show love or affection (VDay and Christmas are perfect examples). Some might say American holidays just another reason to party. I mean really, no river in Ireland is ever dyed green to commemorate a sixth-generation ancestry. Gotta love Chicago. Still others might say that the actual, overblown celebration of holidays is a big part of American traditions. I choose the third reasoning. It hadn't occurred to me that the festivities could be considered a tradition until yesterday. But I think they are. America as a country doesn't have very many traditions to call its own. Each nationality may celebrate a specific holiday - each religion certainly does. But as a whole, Americans don't have a lot that ties every single person together. Maybe the joy and recognition of the events themselves could be considered one tradition native to the United States. I love the fact that everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day, that national pride is literally everywhere on the Fourth of July, and that we gather together as big rowdy families on Thanksgiving. I miss the spark of excitement in the air and the mass anticipation that happens right before Americans celebrate a holiday.

3. Self-reflection
Sitting here writing this the day after V-Day, I feel nostalgia for home. More importantly though, I have come to realize that just because I am here doesn't mean I have to give up my upbringing. I am terribly embarrassed to write that yesterday I didn't wear anything red or pink. I don't necessarily love St. Valentine's Day or go all-out back home, but in a way I feel like I let my country down. Isn't the reason I am here to share the American culture? Shouldn't I be expressing and celebrating an American tradition in my own way? Or have I forgotten all of that in the pressure to fit in here? I realize this sounds melodramatic, but these are actual questions I found myself asking last night. It goes along with a conversation I had with a fellow assistant Lisa the other day about the politeness of strangers. Strangers tend to ignore each other here and no one talks to you if they don't know you (unless they're creepy). What a difference here than in the States, where random strangers strike up a conversation in line for movie tickets, or even weirder, in line for the bathroom. Lisa and I both wondered whether it was better to "fit in" and not be extroverted-polite, or whether we should be retaining our "open-mind" American mindset, even if it got us into trouble. Questions of identity I suppose.

In any case, let it be known that I cannot wait for the Fourth of July back home. I will be the one with five sparklers in each hand, wearing American-flag themed everything, stuffing myself with hot dogs. Glory days indeed!